An Open Letter to the Hotel where I am staying

Please join us in the 21st century. I would like to be able to use the internet or at least my cell phone in the room. I know you are in the mountains and therefore slightly crazy but I am tired of sitting in the lobby. Also why do I have to stare at this Polar Bear's butt?

Polar Bear Butt

I am digging the fireplace so that can stay. That is all. I now return you to your regularly scheduled blog.